Undisclosed Desires
by mrsreynolds
Summary: Drunken hotel room angsty drabble. EDIT: Now a multi chapter story. Mike/Harvey slash
1. Chapter 1

_Edit: So I decided to continue this after all. Chapter one is pretty angsty. Chapter 2 not so much.  
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><p>"I'm not sure this is such a good idea, Harvey," breathed Mike.<p>

Harvey's mouth was tracing a line of hard kisses down his neck and his hands were roaming hungrily over Mike's chest. "I mean, we're both pretty wasted. How many cocktails did we have, Jesus?"

Harvey was now sucking at the base of Mike's throat and tugging at his shirt, needing the sensation of hands against skin so badly it was making his hands shake.

"Harvey, I…"

"Don't you want this Mike?" Harvey's eyes when he tore himself away from his efforts were blown with lust and Mike licked his lips. Oh but he did want this. Had done from the first day. But not like this. Not some drunken, meaningless fumble in a hotel room. He wondered whether Harvey was going to throw down a pile of bills on the nightstand, like the others guys used to before it occurred to him that he could whore out his brain instead.

He turned his face away, ashamed of the tears. He felt Harvey withdraw from him and the distance between them left Mike hollow with regret. But then Harvey was tugging at his hand and they were sitting on the bed and Harvey was looking at him intently.

"It's okay if this isn't what you want," he said carefully, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Mike shook his head, scrubbing at his eyes. "You don't understand, Harvey."

"No, you're right, I don't. Not unless you tell me." Harvey caught Mike's hands in his own and gently pulled them away from his face. "Mike?"

"It's not that I don't want you. Jesus, you have no idea how much I want this."

"So what's the problem?"

Mike suddenly felt gauche and ridiculous and out of his depth and he jumped up from the bed, brushing off Harvey's hands angrily.

"Let's just forget this, okay? I'll go back to my room and we can act like this never happened. It's not as if it meant anything anyway."

He was half way to the door when Harvey spoke behind him. "It would have to me." There was hurt and surprise in his voice.

Mike didn't turn around. Couldn't. Couldn't let Harvey see what was so obviously written on his face; hope, desire, want_. Love_. He took a deep breath, knowing now what he should do next. What he should say.

"Yeah? Well, it wouldn't to me. Goodnight Harvey."

He opened the hotel room door without looking back and walked out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

_Apparently I have no willpower and couldn't leave Harvey like that. Why? Because I love him, silly._

_A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially **Shadow Cat 17, aband0n-ship** and your **knight in tinfoil armor** who encouraged/threatened me to continue :) Here you go.  
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><p>Harvey stared at the closed door of his hotel room, wondering exactly what had just happened. Everything had been planned so carefully; the overnight stay in Boston after their meeting (in case the client got cold feet, he had told Jessica), the quiet dinner, the throbbing, crowded nightclub, the cocktails…<p>

And it had all been going so well. They had discovered a mutual appreciation for Steven Spielberg over dinner, and had spent what seemed like hours trying to compile a definitive top five Spielberg movies list (they kept fighting over Jaws and Raiders Of The Lost Ark for the number three spot).

"Oh come on, Harvey, it's Jaws. It deserves that spot for the music alone."

"You're going to have to give me more than that, Mike."

The younger man thought for a moment. "Jaws is one of those movies you hear so much about as a kid, you know? I remember begging my parents to let me see it, but they told me I had to wait until I was older. And when I did finally see it at a friend's house, I had nightmares for a week. But it was so cool. Do you know what I mean?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't go to the beach for weeks after I saw it. Nearly ruined my summer holidays."

"Exactly! And besides," Mike looked at Harvey pointedly, "I have a thing about sharks."

Harvey suspected that Mike was flirting with him. _Good boy._

"So what's the deal with Raiders of the Lost Ark? Justify yourself, Harvey."

"I just love that whole Saturday matinee vibe, you know? The action, the snappy dialogue, the beautiful cars and…"

"The hair?" Mike's amused eyes were focused on the top of his head.

Harvey chuckled indulgently." Yes Mike. The hair."

"What does your hair even look like? You know, straight out of the shower?"

Harvey sipped at his scotch, regarding Mike over the top of his glass. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright, and he was definitely flirting. Rather than giving him an answer, Harvey smiled and signalled for the check.

"Come on," he said. "Let's see if you're a genius on the dance floor as well."

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><p>The club had been hot and noisy and packed and they had been forced to dance so close that Harvey could feel Mike's heartbeat. They had eventually collapsed into a love seat in sweaty exhaustion and the cocktails had flowed freely. And by then Harvey's arm was around Mike's shoulder and Mike was doing nothing to remove it and his blue, blue eyes were filled with excitement and anticipation. And that was when Harvey had edged just that little bit closer and kissed him. Gently at first, so as not to startle him, just a light pressure against his lips. Mike could've pulled away and laughed it off easily and no harm would have been done. But to Harvey's satisfaction he returned the pressure, his soft mouth opening under Harvey's and allowing him to explore him with his tongue. Harvey <em>felt<em> the moan that was drowned out by the pulsating music and he drew Mike closer still, his hands on his back and neck. Mike fisted his hand in Harvey's shirt eagerly and deepened the kiss, mouth sloppy against his. Harvey smiled into the kiss and pulled away so that he could look at Mike's flushed face.

"Let's go," he said in his ear as he started to stand. "This place is a bit too noisy".

And a bit too public. What he had planned for Mike required a little more privacy.

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><p>The cab ride back to the hotel had been a hot mess of delightful and excruciating. Mike's hands were doing things to him that they shouldn't be doing in public and Harvey's strangled noises just seemed to encourage him. Harvey noticed that the cab driver kept his eyes fixed resolutely on the road ahead and wondered idly how many times this had happened to the poor guy before. Then Mike was kissing him fervently and Harvey lost the ability to think about anything else for the rest of the journey.<p>

He got his revenge in the crowded hotel elevator, pushing Mike to the back and then stroking his ass until Mike started to whimper.

They stumbled out of the elevator (ignoring the looks of disapproval) and kissed their way along the corridor. Harvey fumbled for his key card and then they were in his room and finally Mike belonged to him. His plan had worked beautifully.

But of course, that was when everything had gone to shit, and Harvey was fucked if he knew what he'd done wrong. What he did know, though, was that it hurt. _He_ hurt.

He called room service and ordered the most expensive bottle of scotch on the list.

He figured he was going to need it.


	3. Chapter 3

_So, here it folks_

_ chapter 3, and I found this much harder to write. Thanks again to my lovely reviewers for keeping me going._

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><p>Mike heard the soft knock on his door and turned up the volume on the TV. Whether he was drowning out the knocking or his thoughts wasn't clear, but it seemed to help.<p>

"Mike? Could you open the door? I want to talk to you."

He sniffed and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "Go to bed, Harvey. It's late."

He heard a muffled "Fuck this" followed by the click! of a key card. He looked up and there stood his boss, holding a bottle of scotch and two glasses. His shirt was loose and open at the neck and his feet were bare. He had never looked more fuckable, and Mike looked away quickly.

"I had a spare in case you lost yours," Harvey shrugged, walking up to Mike and sitting on the floor alongside him, back resting against the foot of the bed.

"Screw you," Mike sniffed, glued to the shopping channel.

"Okay. I get that you're pissed at me, you've made that pretty clear. But to be perfectly honest I don't give a fuck. What I do give a fuck about is what just happened. I don't know about you, but I was having an amazing time and it seemed to me that we both wanted the same thing right up until we got to my room. Am I wrong?"

Mike shook his head, still facing the TV.

Harvey picked up the remote and silenced it. Mike sighed and held his hand out for a glass. "Give me some of that, will you?"

Harvey poured for them both and they sat in silence for a moment, appreciating the fine liquor. "God this stuff is good. Is Jessica paying for it?" asked Mike. It was said quietly, but there was definitely a smile in his voice and Harvey relaxed a little.

"Damn straight she is. I figure she owes me this at least."

Mike looked at Harvey as he drank, watching his Adam's apple contract in fascination. "You know I didn't mean it, don't you?" he asked abruptly.

"You mean before? In my room?"

A nod.

Harvey closed his eyes and smiled. "Man, that's such a relief. Because meaningless sex is nowhere near as nice."

Mike bumped his shoulder fondly. "Jesus, Harvey, you're such a bastard. And I'm sorry. About before. It's just…"

Harvey didn't prompt, just waited patiently, gently swirling the amber liquid in his glass.

"I've always been into guys. But when I got thrown out of college, I did some things. I needed the money."

Harvey wanted to look at Mike so badly, but focused carefully on his glass. "Things with other men?"

Another nod. Small and shameful.

"My grandmother was getting worse, and I couldn't cope on my own any more, and assisted living is _so fucking expensive_. I only did it a few times though. I couldn't…it was…I…"

He emptied his glass in one mouthful, swearing as the liquid burnt his throat.

Harvey remained very still beside him, occasionally swallowing hard. He could feel Mike's shoulders shaking and the effort of not reaching out and holding him nearly killed him.

"Then Trevor came up with the _genius_ idea of me taking the LSATS for other people," he said bitterly, "and I tried to put the other thing behind me. And then _this_ happened. You."

"Fuck, Mike , you don't think I'm like them do you? Using you because you owe me? Because that's not how it is."

Mike shook his head quickly. "No, of course not. But don't think I didn't notice that you were seducing me. You had it all planned, didn't you? The hotel, the booze…"

Harvey shrugged. "Yes."

"And when we got back to your room I guess I panicked. I'm sure you can see how it looked; you're a smart man after all."

Harvey laughed humourlessly. "And you are a genius. But right now you're being so idiotic it hurts. Yes, I planned the whole evening, of course I did. How else was I supposed to find out for sure how you felt about me?"

Mike gaped at him. "You couldn't have just asked?"

Harvey glanced at him ruefully, pouring them both another scotch. "This way was less scary."

Mike 's eyebrows arched and he laughed in disbelief. "Oh come on, man, Harvey Specter does not get scared."

Harvey turned so that he was facing Mike, one hand on Mike's arm. "Listen Mike, I spend half my life being scared, just like everyone else on this planet. But you know what? I don't show it. You're really not getting it yet are you?

"That depends," said Mike. "How scared do I look right now?

Harvey scrutinised his face, grateful that they were at least back to this stage in their relationship. "Not very."

"Then I think I'm getting it. Because I'm shitting myself."

Harvey sighed impatiently. "Look, we can walk away from this evening, forget it never happened. I will understand completely. But you should know that I didn't go to all this trouble just so that I could add you to some sort of fuck list or whatever it was you were thinking in my room."

Mike started to interrupt and Harvey silenced him with a wave of his hand. "And this is where you really don't get it. I think I've been intrigued by you ever since you made me do that ridiculous fist bump. Do you have _any_ idea how long it's been since anyone even _attempted_ that with me? I think it might have been tenth grade. People either admire me, fear me, want to fuck me or, more commonly, hate me. I piss people off, Mike. Every day I tell people things they don't want to hear, and then I go to a bar and I pick someone up and we fuck." He scrubbed at his face in agitation. "And then you come along and you prod and you poke and you have no fucking clue how ridiculous you are and you make me fall in love with you."

Mike stared at him, his lips parted as though he were trying to form the right words. But he was tired of talking and all he wanted was to touch Harvey and for Harvey to be touching him. "Come here," he breathed, and then Harvey was kissing him and this time he was in no doubt that this was definitely a good idea. The room filled with soft grunts and sighs as they explored each other with their hands and mouths.

"Harvey?" murmured Mike eventually.

"Hmm?" Harvey was busy with Mike's belt buckle.

"Let's go to bed."

"'Kay"

"Oh and Harvey?"

"Hmm?"

"I loved you first."

Harvey led him to the bed, his eyes hooded with anticipation. "I wonder if you're this competitive about everything."

Mike undressed him slowly and proceeded to show him.


End file.
